letting go.....

I have removed pictures of Ashley and her children from my sight. Can anyone out there tell me how to cope with her ? Who has the answer to such a devastating problem ? I have run out of steam to try to make sense out of what has become of our relationship.
I quit.
Im done.
No more.
I need a break from the heartache. I will miss my grand-children....C-----, J------, A---. I hope they will never think things about their mother....like she does me. I can only hope and pray that she gets the help she needs. I thought that little moments with C, J, & A, would keep me going. I thought I had enough strength to withstand the hurt and humiliation Ashley was willing to dish out to me...to be a part time grand-mother at her angry whims. I thought I should just be grateful for the moments she would be generous toward me.
So what ? Im her mother....should I just stand still and let her nail me to the cross because I think she has a emotional disorder of some kind ? She doesnt even use nails...she has screws!!
I cant stand still for the torture anymore...just because she is my child...that excuse is wearing very thin these days. How much is a woman supposed to bleed for her offspring ?